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I am a bastard Evertonian from Bromley

December 17, 2008
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I am a bastard Evertonian. The son of a bona fide local Everton fan, I was instead born in south London, and have often felt out of place at Goodison Park because of it. In my teens, fascinated by all things blue, I tried to pull back the layers of Everton, voraciously gobbling up all reading material and eventually settling on the fanzine – the subterranean avenue of choice for most wannabe ‘die hards’. I still remember the chill that swept through me when I came across letter after letter attacking fans of Everton that didn’t hail from Merseyside. My club had just broken the news to me that...

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Andy Johnson – Will Everton’s Blue Collar Blue Boy Be Missed?

August 13, 2008
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I wrote this on the Times Fanzone last week: So AJ looks to have been sold. And he will be missed; principally because he was a ridiculously hard working player, and because Everton’s ethos is an embodiment of the kind of shirt-off-your-back altruistic teamwork present only in Lenin’s wet dreams, AJ came to be one of the chief symbols of the People’s Club. Johnson may have lost form during his time at Everton but he always played as if listening to a Black Sabbath record, all adrenaline and pace. When the ball was in the final third he seemed to play like a Rugby Union forward whose remit was...

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Kirkby Stadium Called In; What Now?….

August 6, 2008
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Latest news fresh from the Official Everton site is that Kirkby has been called in. Quite what this means for our transfer fund, which EFC have claimed – until they are blue in the face – won’t be affected one jot by any failed stadium remains to be seen. The club said: We are disappointed by the decision. Having spent more than two years working diligently on a project which would not only provide Everton Football Club with a new home but also regenerate Kirkby, we had hoped to avoid a Government call-in. It never rains but it pours…

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The Toffeemonger – July 25, 2008

July 25, 2008
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A quick daily scan plumbing the depths of transfer tripe and rumour gristle. Setanta Sports reckon that for all Bully Wyness’ chuntering on about how great Joao Moutinho is, we still haven’t actually got round to putting in a formal bid. Is that because this is a smokescreen used to slake Evertonians’ transfer bloodlust or because we are frantically trying to structure a deal that will enable us to pay the £18million over a long stretch of time? A quick look at the Official Everton website reveals that Sir Neville The Younger has signed on the dotted line, until 2012. SNTY said: “First of all I am really proud...

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The Toffeemonger – July 24, 2008

July 24, 2008
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A quick daily scan plumbing the depths of transfer tripe. The S*n – who yesterday ran a ridiculous expose outing Everton as the Premier League’s nancy boys because Jack Rodwell and some teammates went to see Sex and The City – today focus on some ugly transfer gristle. They reckon that AJ is going to Fulham imminently, and that CSKA’s Wagner Love will be shipped in as his replacement. In other news, according to Setanta Sports, Vladimir Stojkovic has denied that he pootled around for an hour and then did a runner when on trial for the Toffees: “I’m not a trouble maker, everything went fine, I didn’t have...

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The Toffeemonger – July 23, 2008

July 23, 2008
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A quick daily scan plumbing the depths of transfer tripe. The Liverpool Echo reckon that we have accepted a £10.5M bid from Fulham for AJ. The once fearsome band of baldies: Lee Carsley, Tommy Gravesen, and AJ has now split up with the departure of its final member. The Official Everton site meanwhile, is having none of this tripe, and claims that no deal has yet been brokered with Fulham. Everton beat Preston 1-0 at Deepdale and there were two performances to note, Andy van Der Meyde clocked in for the third game running and Jose Baxter nearly scored with a ripper of a free kick. And finally… We’ve...

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Is Andy Van der Meyde the comeback kid for Everton?

July 22, 2008
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The legendary story of Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” recording session has it that Syd Barrett shuffled totally unnoticed into the studio. The exiled founder of Pink Floyd, cut adrift from the band for years, was recognised only once the rest of the band started listening to this stranger’s listless mumblings. Barrett was a rogue genius, who encapsulated English whimsy in his one full album at the helm, before succumbing to a madcap half-life in the shadows. When he turned up at the studio that fateful day – he was a changed man, no eyebrows and a shaved head, pig fat had replaced the lean musician’s torso. One...

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New Premier League season kicks-off the weekend of 18/19 August. Next seasons fixtures will be announced mid-June

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