Sky sports are reporting that Dan Gosling has finally moved to Newcastle for free. I’m finished with the anger, not hugely disappointed in losing him as a player anymore, but still apoplectic with rage about the money he took off us. If he recovers in time, he’ll be able to come to Goodison for a nice welcome, after that I fully expect him to sink without a trace.

If you have a gentleman’s agreement and then back out of it you are neither a gentleman nor worth having an agreement with in the first place. Good riddance.

ESPN reported yesterday that Dan Gosling was ready to join Newcastle United for free. It looks like he’ll be getting £25,000 a week, but the article also mentions that Everton will appeal the move and look to recoup something. If we get anywhere near the £4 million we are apparently appealing for – it will come in very handy for both us and Plymouth Argyle – who are entitled to any proceeds of a Gosling transfer.

Again, I’m sad to see him go, and a little angry too.

No wonder managers are lining up to peek over Moyes’ shoulder (Rafa Benitez and Harry Redknapp; yes I’m talking about you) – even when Moyes’ doesn’t get his man, he still shows his wonderful scouting abilities.

Last summer we were very close to nabbing Argentine midfielder Ever Banega off Valencia – there were murmurings of a possible loan-then-buy deal, but sadly it fell through. At the time. most people saw Banega as a bit of a joke, with Guardian journalist Sid Lowe saying the following:

“I personally think that Banega is a very talented footballer, he moves the ball very nicely. There have been one or two occasions when he’s looked like a genuinely good player, both at Atletico and Valencia…BUT the key word there is ‘one or two’…I think he’s not that good, I think he finds the Spanish game too quick and therefore would probably find the English game too quick as well. I think he is potentially a very very good player but I think he is also potentially a car crash.”

In yesterday’s Guardian Sid Lowe picked his La Liga team of the year, in that team – next to Messi, Xavi, and Cristiano Ronaldo was Ever Banega. Who knows what would have happened had Moyes managed to secure his signature, but this is et more proof that Everton’s manager is a transfer alchemist.

Some goons over at the Fur Coat No Knickers lodgings in Manchester gave me some stick about claiming that illegal approaches smoothed over with lashings and lashings of filthy lucre was the Man City ideology. It patently is. The FC No Knickers ideology is that of its owners, to get them noticed and to get on the fast track to success. The Everton ideology is the exact opposite.

With FC No Knickers sniffing around for fresh blood it looks like they may raid Aston Villa or Everton again this summer, and both Milner and Arteta are thought to be targets. I’m a little worried about Man City coming after Arteta, to steal one of the best players in the league makes sense, but to take him off Everton would add the spice of vendetta to it, and we know Garry Cook doesn’t like us. Remember the schmaltzy mantra of delusional romantics “love conquers all”? In Premier League land it is “money conquers all”…. Here are three steps to drumming into Garry Cooke’s skull that “no means no”.

1. Announce to the press that because of Garry Cooke/FC No Knickers and the way they illegally took Joleon Lescott off us that we are permanently closing the lines of communication with them. We will not be bidding on any of their players for the forseeable future, and we not only discourage bids from Man City – we will throw them in the bin without even looking at them. Garryloadsamoneycooke@fcnoknickers.com will be tossed into our junk mail, and their number will be deleted from Bill Kenwrights phone book. In short, any communication from Man City will be forgotten before it is even read.

2. Faced with the fact that Everton have closed all legal modes of communication (a footballing restraining order) what do the scrotes at Middle Eastlands do? They want to steal Arteta off us, but their only way to speak with Arteta is illegally. (I also think that comments to the press about how much the manager likes a player, though not technically wrong, could be construed as illegal after we’ve made statement 1. above). They will obviously try to make contact (illegally) by contacting the player.

3. Bosh, job done. Man City have magically managed to speak to Arteta/Milner and in the process made an illegal approach. The Yanks call this entrapment. I’m all for it, and I think Villa should do the same.

 Evertonians woke today to some cryptic information from the Times’ Ollie Kay on Twitter: Otherwise engaged today. Everton fans might want to look out for some good news later. #EFC

 A bit of digging around journo’s Twitter accounts reveals that the “good news” is Jack Rodwell, who has signed a new contract with us. Daniel Taylor at the Guardian tweets: gd news 4 #Everton but let’s not kid ourselves – Jack Rodwell wouldn’t B signing new contract if genuine interest from #mufc 

Another player signed up, next up…Mikky Arteta…

 Why we should’t be too upset about losing Pienaar.

"I will now sell 15 copies of Steven Pienaar"

Rob Gordon: I will now sell five copies  of “The Three EPs” by The Beta Band.
Dick: Go for it.
[Rob plays the record]
Beta Band Customer: Who is this? …

Rob Gordon from High Fidelity reminds me of David Moyes from Goodison Park. Our manager has lovingly assembled a cheap collection of classics. Arteta, Pienaar, Cahill – all bought for around £2million each.

Moyes proves again and again that you can find hidden unheralded gems if you nose around small shops, you dont have to shop at Harrods if you know where to look.

Steven Pienaar. He’s 28, he has one large contract left in him, and he’s a good player. We bought him for £2.3million, and he has a year left on his current contract. Every discussion on the merits of Steven Pienaar should screetch to a halt with that figure. £2.3million is a minuscule amount of money, and shows clearly just what an excellent judge of talent and potential David Moyes is.

Evertonians are already grumbling about another barren summer with little movement but the truth is that we don’t need anyone. This season’s deficiencies were caused almost entirely by our nasty run of injuries. We dont need any new signings, keeping our current squad as-is isn’t a step backwards, it just gives a team already overflowing with team spirit a chance to gel even more.

If Pienaar stays (either for one season or longer) we will have got incredible value for a couple of million quid. If we do end up losing Pienaar we will get good money, excellent money, probably at least 6 times our initial outlay.

Pienaar has been excellent for us, but he isn’t irreplaceable. In fact, we may already have a more than adequate replacement in Bily, who – despite having played the best part of two seasons back-to-back - has made a postive impression at Goodison.

We need to have faith in Moyes’ judgement. He is the ghostwriter behind these men, turning people like Arteta, Pienaar, Cahill, Baines, Jagielka – into some of the best in the league. Dusty flea markets and bargain basements are where Moyes is in his element, if Pienaar goes – expect him to unearth another shortly after.

“SOS Sources: Beckford deal done”

 Our friends over at SOS1878 reckon that the Jermaine Beckford deal is done, and that he’ll be officially signing at the end of June, with personal terms already agreed.

“Rodwell to snub Man United to stay at Goodison”

The Daily Mirror reports that Jack Rodwell, Everton’s worst kept secret and best young prospect will be signing a contract extension – that will see him paid 40 grand a week. This comes hot on the heels of the news that Cahill is signing an extension, will Pienaar be signing next?

“Arsene Wenger wants Everton’s Mikel Arteta if Barcelona prise Cesc Fabregas from Arsenal”

 The Daily Mail, everyone’s favourite purveyors of transfer tripe, reckon that Arsene Wenger will turn to our very own Mikel Arteta if Cesc Fabregas toddles off to Barca.

“Coleman In Wembley Final”

Seamus Coleman is going to Wembley with Blackpool after they beat Nottingham Forest to get to the Championship Playoff Final.

• Jack Rodwell - the new Gerrard/ Rio/ Beckenbauer/ Lothar Matthaus – WILL sign a new contract with Everton, meaning that the host of clubs sniffing around him will have to go and do one. According to the Daily Mirror : ”Everton starlet Jack Rodwell is ready to sign a bumper new £25,000-a-week deal – and disappoint Chelsea and Manchester United. England Under-21 ace Rodwell is close to agreeing terms that will see him stay at Goodison Park for the next four-and-a-half seasons.” Jolly good.

Our Jack

• Everton drew 0-0 with Man City in last nights reserve game – see match report.
• Wayne Rooney, the blue genius who ran off to Manchester, injured his ankle in Man Utd’s 2-1 loss to Bayern Munich last night – and the fallout is depressingly predictable. The Sun go for shock value with, “PRAY” in huge letters and journo Neil Custis telling us that “ENGLAND were facing their biggest World Cup nightmare last night.”  The Mirror tells us that it is just Man Utd fans who should be praying, as he’ll only be out for six weeks, whilst Paul Hayward over at the Guardian just seems annoyed with this whole injury lark, muttering “The nation was gripped by foreboding. Surely not another vigil outside a physio’s room? The lord spare us from another rushed recovery and an umpteenth listless talisman not being quite himself in a big World Cup tie.”
• According to the Daily Mail (who conveniently forget that Tony Hibbert was playing centre-half at Benfica): “Liverpool have been handed a dire Europa League warning after giant defender Luisao claimed Benfica were an even more potent force than when they tore Everton apart five months ago.”

THE TOFFEEMONGER -February 19th 2010

The Antichrist?

Michael Kenrick – I had a PE teacher like him once. Rampantly negative, and very pissed off with the world, he refused to let a poor waif of a lad miss PE because he had a broken arm, saying that it was no excuse. For Kenrick and his Toffeeweb chums, it seems that Moyes is the Antichrist – and that our injuries are no excuse for this season’s performance.

Over to you, Michael:

“This season was supposedly getting better but the loss of Fellaini is likely to be a real blow. No doubt under adversity, Moyes will glue the remnants back together and we will strive manfully for a creditable eight or another “Magnificent Seventh” (vomit).

No, I have some fine memories from the pre-Moyes era. He is not a manager that makes me proud because I don’t feel proud watching the type of football he has us play, and I don’t think I ever will. You can point to the odd game… but the overall feeling is one of total negativity from this manager.

So no, I have Zero Respect for Moyes. I want the Everton manager to be POSITIVE! With the players he has had, we could and should have been so much better… (Yes. I know he chose them: the one thing he seems to be good at…) We’re not, and that pains me every time I watch us play. And It has done for what seems to be an awful long time now. So sorry… No respect from me.”

THE TOFFEEMONGER -February 16th 2010

A quick daily scan sampling the media’s transfer tripe.

Marouane Fellaini: Off to the Arse?

Today’s main transfer rumour is regarding feral fuzzball Marouane Fellaini. Apparently Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger is having a hearty sniff around the Belgian, and he likes what he smells.  The Guardian is leading the charge with the Fellaini tripe here , and we’re hoping that’s exactly what it is. His contract isn’t running out, he seems happy, Arsenal are known to hate splurging big money (and that’s exactly what they’d have to do to bag Fellaini)…

However, the Belgian’s dad seems to like hawking his son around (not in Fabregas Sr’s league yet but give him time), Arsene has a bit of a fetish for lanky midfielders, and given the last minute nature of Fellaini’s signing by Moyes (last minutes of the transfer deadline) – could it be possible that he managed to sneak in a get-out clause, allowing Arsenal to prise him away for a certain price???

We’re pretty sure that the above sentence is complete tripe, so not to worry – and our London contact says that this could be hogwash because Arsenal’s midfield is pretty packed as it is – Song, Cesc, Diaby, Denilson, Eastmond, Merida, Lansbury…