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Past Players

Defending Wayne Rooney

October 22, 2010
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Defending Wayne Rooney

The reasons that Rooney wanted to leave cannot be crowbarred into a tiny Tweet, they cannot be reduced from a barrage of grievances into a one-inch punch. The worn old adage that form is temporary and class is permanent holds true in another sense for Rooney. No matter how well he does on the pitch, he's always reminded of where he came from.

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Dan Gosling:How to lose friends and alienate people

July 9, 2010
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Now is the summer of our discontent. Summer is an atrocious time to be an Evertonian. Nails are bitten to the quick, nights are sleepless, and the fevered clamour amongst the gutter press for a full-scale Everton exodus reaches unbearable levels. With Pienaar still flirting with our offer, Arteta a possibility to leave, and Johnny Heitinga sending a volley of mixed messages our way we could be forgiven for forgetting about Dan Gosling. If you’d have asked me my opinion of Gosling last week I would have told you that he is a solid young player, and a promising prospect for the future. All that is now in tatters....

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England: Just Like Watching Brazil

July 2, 2010
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England: Just Like Watching Brazil

World Cup 2010: England http://twitter.com/dixiessixty Germany 4-1 England. It was an escape from victory not Escape To Victory, a bust rather than Dambusters.   And soon after a stampede of familiar moans charged across the horizon:     “It was because we have a foreign manager” (forgetting how the last English manager performed) “They are overpaid” (forgetting how well the players did for their clubs) “We need a manager like Maradona” (I thought Capello’s appointment was needed to add discipline; to tame the wild English style) It is interesting that we compare England to Italy, Germany and France (“they would never employ a foreign manager”) when in reality there...

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TOP 60 EVERTON PLAYERS: #56 Andy Hinchliffe

November 20, 2009
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TOP 60 EVERTON PLAYERS: #56 Andy Hinchliffe

 Andy Hinchcliffe (1990-98) Apps 182, Goals 7  Hinchcliffe was our left-footed dead-ball specialist during the nineties. Perhaps not as accomplished the right-footed dead-ball specialist that is still clinging onto the England squad for dear life – but actually more well-rounded. Because of Mr Beckham’s Murdochian stranglehold on football it is easy to think that good cross and set-piece merchants are immobile automatons obsessed with angles and lining up their Coke cans in an orderly fashion in their fridge. This would be wrong. Whereas Beckham has all the mobility of Dr Strangelove stuck in a mud drenched lay-by, Hinchcliffe was actually quite quick, and occasionally took on players too.  ...

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TOP 60 EVERTON PLAYERS: #57 Joe Parkinson

November 19, 2009
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TOP 60 EVERTON PLAYERS: #57 Joe Parkinson

1994-99, 105 apps, 4 goals Everton’s 57th best player (and Bournmouth’s 9th) is another one like Tony Kay who never came anywhere near to fulfilling his potential. Whereas Kay’s career was halted by draconian punishment, Parkinson’s was curtailed by injury – a cartilage tear that “despite operation after operation kept ripping”. Joe ran himself into the ground for Everton, and by playing through serious injury and making do on pain killing injections he put his career on the line for our club. It is interesting reading interviews with Parkinson; the poster boy for the “Dogs of War”, he was someone who was proud of his tough tackling, regarding it as a skill...

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Top 60 Everton Players: #58 Tony Kay

November 18, 2009
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Top 60 Everton Players: #58 Tony Kay

Tony Kay (1962-64) 57 appearances, 4 goals Tony Kay was Britain’s most expensive footballer when Everton swooped for him in 1962, paying a British record £60,000 for the red-headed wing half. Ponderous players attempting a midfield filibuster were greeted by Kay’s menacing physicality as well as his abundant skill. Harry Catterick, a shrewd judge of talent, clearly had big plans for Kay – plans that sadly never fully blossomed.   That Kay is instead remembered for becoming embroiled in a betting scandal during his time at Sheffield Wednesday and being banned from football for life is one of Everton’s biggest tragedies. Capped once by England, Kay resembles Everton’s major “what...

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Top 60 Everton Players: #60 THOMAS GRAVESEN

November 3, 2009
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Top 60 Everton Players: #60 THOMAS GRAVESEN

#60. Thomas Gravesen (2000-05, 2007-08) 132 appearances, 11 goals From the beginning of his Everton career, Gravesen set out to get noticed, playing like he should have an exclamation mark grafted onto his surname. The excitable Dane even saw red in one of his first outings, a “friendly” against Blackburn Rovers in 2000, for some appalling tackling. Gravesen had two stints at Everton, but his first was his best. Often starved of a partner to exchange skilful midfield repartee with, he was forced to roam on his own – a goggle-eyed, shaven-headed hunter-gatherer. Why is he on this list? Gravesen polarises opinion like Marmite, Spam and country music, but...

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Oi, Hughes! No Means No!

August 14, 2009
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David Moyes, the man who had the temerity to say no to Mark Hughes, let rip today – and I love him even more for it. According to every news source with a pulse, Moyes has torn “Sparky” a new one for not understanding the word “no”… The Independent’s Paul Walker writes: Moyes, preparing his side for tomorrow’s season opener at home to Arsenal, launched a bitter attack on Hughes and City. He said: “There is no dialogue between us and Manchester City as far as I know. “Maybe City are having dialogue with somebody else, but it is not between me and City. “He (Hughes) said they were...

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The Joleon Question – Three sides to the story

August 13, 2009
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This was originally published on the Times Fanzine Fanzone Page. And it continues…Lescott wants to leave, Moyes doesn’t want to sell, and Hughes is still returning with bids for the player. The harder Moyes rejects the bids the more the Welshman boomerangs back. Hughes’ bids amount to Chinese Water Torture; an incessant drip – intriguing Lescott and annoying Moyes in equal measure. All this is surrounded by hordes of blithering idiots, who munch unquestioningly over the daily tabloids. It’s impossible to know what is happening at the centre of the storm, but here are three views… I. Mark Hughes is a pillock. A dangerous pillock who won’t take no...

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Is Lescott Loyal to the Lucre?

July 6, 2009
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Loyal to the Lucre? Whilst summer rolls into action many Blue websites have been indulging in Evertonians’ favourite warm-weather pastime: Kenwright kvetching. Some anticipate a summer of scraping around for money, missing out on signings, and seeing our Chairman fail – once more – to sell the club. I’m actually glad Kenwright has failed to flog our beloved Toffees, and because of that, in my eyes he is the perfect Chairman… If Kenwright is unqualified to run our club, then why is a rich Sheik more acceptable? Would a moneybags owner shed blue tears when we lost to Chelsea? Would he be able to wax lyrical about Mikel Arteta,...

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Next Game – Premier League, Saturday 11 February, kick-off 15:00, Chelsea @ Goodison

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