Everton’s bouncebackability will be fully road tested at Hull tonight following the defeat at Old Trafford. Options, already severely restricted by a long injury list, are further reduced by bans to Fellaini and Bilyaletdinov. Also looming large, as David Moyes mulls his limited options, is the little matter of Sunday afternoon’s appointment at Goodison with Liverpool. Tim Cahill was a major doubt ahead of last Saturday’s game with a groin strain, as was Louis Saha with his long-standing calf problem; we expect Saha to be rested – a better word might be ‘conserved’ – and there is the possibility that Cahill might be pulled from the firing line, too. So once again Moyes is so restricted by injuries and suspensions that selection comes down to a simple question: who are my best ten fully fit outfield players? And then: what is the formation which accommodates them best? We think this means 4-4-2 with Yakubu and Jo up front; a midfield of Gosling, Rodwell, Heitinga, Cahill; a backline of Neill, Yobo, Distin, Baines with Tim Howard in goal. Pienaar is said to be “very close” and it will lift morale when he takes his place on the bench tonight.
Hull have improved recently, losing just one of their last four. Defender Bernard Mendy is suspended so we expect Kamil Zayatte to come in at right back. Nigerian midfielder Seyi Olofinjana remains doubtful with a hamstring strain. We anticipate Phil Brown to go with a 4-4-2 formation, including a rejuvenated Jimmy Bullard who Johnny Heitinga and Jack Rodwell will need to keep close tabs on.

“Here comes success, hoo-ray success!”
So hollered Detroit’s grizzled Iggy Pop, the optimistic lyrics mirroring the minds of thousands of Everton fans who jubilantly bounced through the week on Champagne bubbles after our Cup win over United. We even managed to bag a point a Stamford Bridge, and things were looking very rosy. That is until Phil Jagielka’s injury stopped us all in our tracks.
Jagielka has had a wonderful season at Everton, looking more assured with each game and forcing his way further into Capello’s thoughts and the England squad along the way. With our bare bones squad, a decimated strikeforce and a weakened midfield – it was comforting to have so much solidity at the back. For Phil to miss the Cup Final is painful for everyone, but it is just yet another setback in a sea of problems which started last summer with CEO Keith Wyness walking – and somehow we are heading to this season’s finish line still fighting for a trophy. At Everton every injury to personnel miraculously transforms into a team building exercise, we are swiftly becoming the masters of less is more.
It has been a funny old season for the funny old game. Newly promoted Hull City rose so fast they got the bends, while previously bullet proof Aston Villa now look as prone as Detroit roadkill. Arsenal have had a rocky season but are firing on all cylinders now, and Everton, despite their rancid start, have had a strong season. Riley may be a United fan (we know he isn’t really), Clattenburg may support the RS and Lady Luck – more important than those two shambling buffoons – is definitely not a Toffee. So the cards have been dealt, for our star defender and burgeoning England squad player – anterior cruciate damage and at least six months out – for our Iberian midfield laureate – season ending knee damage too – and for our main striker, a man who scores more goals than I have hot dinners – a ruptured Achilles tendon.
All you have to do is look at the Premier League table to see that thick black line between fourth and fifth, a line that separates the haves from the have-nots. First amongst the underclass is usually Everton, and we are seen as outsiders in the FA Cup too, with many a pundit already dismissing our chances against Chelsea. Things will definitely be harder without Jagielka, but when a team knocks three of the five teams above them in the league out of the FA Cup they can never be written off in such a cavalier fashion. Chelsea could also still progress to the Champions League Final, which is just three days before our Wembley match-up. Against Barcelona on Tuesday Chelsea’s millionaire superheroes looked decidedly Clark Kent, and I fancy Everton, comfortable in their underdog status, to hassle, harry, and harangue them in the Cup Final.
Above all, no matter how gutting the Jagielka injury is, we need to remember that it has happened to the strongest area of our squad. Defence is one of the few positions where Everton have reinforcements; step up Joey Yobo. Jags may be our number one choice for centre half , but Joey Yobo is the man who helped us sneak under the velvet rope, and into fourth place. This is Moyes’ first chance at silverware, and his first Everton signing – Joey Yobo – could yet help him get it.

Everton’s seemingly comfortable 3-1 victory over Birmingham belies the fact that Kapo pulled Steve Bruce’s men level only ten minutes from time.

A draw would have been a disappointment for the Toffees, but late goals from Lee Carsley and James Vaughan pushed them towards the three points. It is now four wins in a row for Everton in all competitions and all of a sudden the heartburn of losing to Liverpool seems to have eased.

Everton now have the triumvirate of Tim Cahill, Thomas Gravesen, and Carsley fully fit – the potent combination that drove them to fourth place and into Europe. The fact that the squad has since been considerably improved yet a second fourth-place finish hasn’t been achieved shows what a complicated balance has to be struck between a close tight-knit team and a squad with the depth to cope with multiple tournaments.

Everton went ahead after just ten minutes when Yakubu did exactly what he was brought in for – and scored. I have been a big critic of Yakubu, but he is obviously like the Rainman, an idiot savant with only one recognizable skill, the ability to score. In this case the ball bounced off the Nigerian’s heel and into the net. Sandwiched between this goal, a simple paint-by-numbers finish turned into a complicated goal by the Yak, were several profligate misses. I have been critical of the Nigerian, and I will continue to criticise him. I’m very superstitious and my childhood memories of watching the Toffees were punctuated with touching wood every 10 seconds to stave off potential bad luck; and there seems to be a strange symmetry between my criticism and his goals.

Birmingham’s equaliser was the matching bookend to Yakubu’s opener, coming 10 minutes from the end, and the shock of dropping two points combined with the gaggle of needless misses earlier in the game pushed Everton back into life. With seconds remaining, Carsley punched a 20-yarder right into the top corner and, seemingly not satisfied with that, he then set up the returning Vaughan to score a third.

Everton now have a horde of potential goalscorers; Yakubu, Vaughan, Cahill, Victor Anichebe, Andy Johnson, Mikel Arteta, and even Joleon Lescott have proven their goal-nabbing capabilities.

Everton’s squad now looks a far cry from the emaciated three-point gathering machine of the Champions League qualifying season. A swarm of polyglot players have been brought in, both Phil Jagielka and Phil Neville can fill a number of roles, and Lescott is becoming increasingly comfortable with speaking the language of a left-back.

Arteta and the slight Steven Pienaar have shown the beginning of an excellent relationship, and Gravesen, the goggle-eyed Dane, will also thrive next to these two. Perhaps it is time for Everton to stop being labelled as a long-ball side; the only residue from that era is Tony Hibbert, constantly shooting the ball upfield searching for the ghost of Duncan Ferguson.

At half-time in this game a cavalcade of past heroes were paraded around Goodison. Historically this brings a tear to the eye and a lump in the throat, our present players looking poor in comparison to past legends, with the inflated memories of their achievements.

Half-time at Goodison is usually a time for worries to mount, for programmes to be throttled in the clammy hands of umpteen pessimist Toffees; a retired Neville Southall once even came out for a half-time tear-jerker, urging the fans to give one final push in a relegation scramble. These days we look forward to the second half, rather than back to our past heroes. For once thoughts were of the present, and the halcyon past wasn’t dragging us down.

Soon Yakubu, like Bentley will become a word synonymous with filthy rich excess. The Nigerian didn’t feature in Yesterday’s 3-1 victory over Larissa, and the day before he was stopped by the police for driving his Bentley without a valid UK license, yesterday it was Anichebe who delivered the final coup de grace whilst Yak remained on the bench.
For some players, an £11m price tag could be a heavy burden, but for Yakubu it is swiftly becoming the only reason he is still being picked. And with James Vaughan returning from his long term injury, and AJ on the road to fitness, Yakubu can thank his lucky stars that he is the Everton transfer record – as it serves as an aide memoire for Moyes – reminding him of why he paid so much for him. Goals used to be Yakubu’s currency, at Maccabi Haifa, he scored 7 goals in 8 European Champions League appearances, including a hat-trick against Olympiakos and another against Manchester United. In the Premier League, his goalscoring record in the last few seasons is second only to Thierry Henry – but take away this history and Yakubu’s price tag and we are left with nothing. Will Yakubu manage to prove himself at Everton, a team synonymous with hard-working graft?

Yakubu, so far, in my mind at least, a royal waste of money, two flat track bully goals, and the general contribution of a slug on ketamine, coupled with better, harder working youngsters breathing down his very large neck like Anichebe and Vaughan.

And why oh why did we spend so much on him – we should have just doubled our bid for Lucho Gonzales rather than buying this mope from Middlesbrough. The consensus amongst most of the ‘Boro fans I spoke to during our usual Scrooge-esque dealings with them was that they should take the money and run, and good for them. What rankles even more is the fact that Beattie is now top scorer in the Championship charts having played dismally for us. Faced with all of this, doubts start to creep into my mind about David Moyes – McFadden isn’t setting the world alight at Everton (unlike at International level) , AJ is in the mother of all slumps, and Beattie – a total dead loss at Everton – is now top scorer in the Championship…and coupled with Moyes’ handling of Yakubu I begin to think that we will forever be aimlessly searching for our ’20 goal a season man’.

I’m starting to disagree with Tim Sherwood in his assessment that with Yakubu sometimes you get Thierry Henry, and sometimes you get Lenny Henry. So far all we have had is a comedian upfront. Yakubu spends most of his footballing life lying relaxed submersed in semi-consciousness, occasionally drifting to the surface about twice a game. Someone needs to investigate Yakubu’s internal wiring and change the “relaxing slow jams” cd that is playing on loop in his head with something heavier, some Slayer would probably wake him up from his Rip Van Winkle slumber. .

Yakubu’s signing was a huge risk for Moyes – the Nigerian is as synonymous with an abysmal work-rate as Everton used to be with fluid passing in the 60′s and Moyes will have known that – so either he had to abandon the work ethic and let Yakubu sit on his backside and score, OR he had to to try and transform Yakubu into a hard working goalscorer…but do you play over £11 million for someone you want to transform? No, there is a much simpler answer to this mess…Moyes is still intoxicated with the barnstorming goal that Yakubu scored for Portsmouth against us…Collecting the ball from a header he charged through several Everton defenders with such strength it was as if Jonah Lomu had switched footballing codes and then slapped the ball through the back of the goal…If only he could come up with something like that on Saturday all will be forgiven…