Sunday’s match against Man Utd was a frustrating one.
The Anthony Martial “penalty” was won by the Frenchman through deception. He deceived Jonathan Moss, admittedly a man who makes mistakes like most of us have hot dinners, with a whopper of a dive. Full pants on fire, elongated Pinocchio nose, he tried to get past Idrissa Gueye, couldn’t, and then did a passable impersonation of a skydiver leaping out of a plane. Naturally Moss pointed to the spot.
Social Media’s Paul Pogba then decided to do the most ridiculous stuttering run up, like a glitchy video that won’t load properly, daintily tap dancing at excruciatingly glacial speed towards the penalty spot. It was a run up designed to stand out, to make him look cool, and the poor hapless goalie look like a fool. Not Jordan Pickford though. The penalty was gloriously saved. Pogba, the luckiest of lucky bastards, tapped in the rebound.
After the game came the unsurprising news that, no, Martial will not be charged with “successful deception of a match referee” case closed, move along now, nothing to see here, good night and good luck. The only player *ever* to be charged with “successful deception of a match referee”? Poor Oumar Niasse.
All this is very confusing. Presumably Moss is sticking to his guns and saying that he wasn’t deceived – but that just beggars belief. Aside from some flat earther Utd fans, pretty much everyone accepts it was a dive, and definitely one that was designed to hoodwink and gull Mr. Moss.
Perhaps Moss doesn’t want to charge Anthony Martial with “successful deception of a match referee” because he plays for Man Utd.
Perhaps there’s one rule for the big teams, and one rule for everyone else.
Perhaps the Premier League don’t like it when people point this out.
Over on the badlands of Twitter, I posted a video showing the Niasse dive and the Martial dive side by side. The Premier League whispered in Twitter’s ear and got me banned. For how long, who knows (or even cares)… Here’s the video: Oumar vs Martial
Clearly it’s far easier for me to get banned on Twitter for posting a video of Anthony Martial diving, than for Anthony Martial to get banned for actually diving.
I am the Oumar Niasse of Twitter.
Write About The REST Of The Match You Idiot