As featured on News Now

Yup. Everton Ruined The Transfer Window
by Ed Bottomley

Everton Football Club, a club of historic firsts…

First club to construct a purpose built football stadium…

First club to issue regular programmes for home matches…

First and only British club to stage a World Cup semi-final…

First club to play 4000 games and 100 seasons in the top flight…

First club to have a player score 60 goals in one season…

First club to stage an FA Cup final…

First club to install undersoil heating…

And as of yesterday: First club to ruin the summer transfer window.

The yelps of disgust at Everton and their single handed demolition of this cherished tradition were plentiful. The loudest moans – of course – came from Sky Sports’ offal brained dolts:

Paul Merson – A man who has long since given up Class A drugs, but still snorts out idiotic opinions as if he is nostril deep in them, had these thoughts on the Richarlison transfer:

I fink that’s what’s probably spoiled the window if I’m being honest. It happened so early and 40-odd million pound, that set the benchmark and I fink teamz then have gone “well if you’re getting 40 million for ‘im I want 60, and I want 70, and I want 80 and I want 90 and I want ‘undred.” And I fink that’s been the problem

Sam Allardyce – Sat there with cans of stored ? by his knee under the desk, whatever he was swigging it wasn’t common sense, although for the most part he elected to stew in his own outrage and occasionally smirk.

Even bloody Andy Hinchcliffe. Et tu Chinch? Yup. Our former left back joined the muddled moaning, bizarrely stating that our new left back could be an upgrade on our excellent right back(!)

The money spent on Richarlison didn’t just annoy the Sky Sports “News” gang though. The Guardian’s Barry Glendenning didn’t hold back on their Football Weekly pod, saying:

Ugh. It’s insane. That just beggars belief. Particularly in light of the huge amount of money Everton seemed to squander last summer, you would think they’d have learned their lesson… 40 million quid is an absolutely ludicrous amount of money to spend on someone with a track record in the Premier League that is at best patchy…

Over on the Totally Football podcast, French football expert Julien Laurens didn’t hesitate when host James Richardson asked him who the worst signing was of the summer:

Richarlison. I just don’t understand. I don’t understand how this is possible. I don’t understand who’s signing off or who thought “yeah let’s spend that money on him…” I just don’t get it.

There are two things at work here:

  1. We’re Everton. We shouldn’t get ideas above our station. Spending money like this offends people because it threatens the “natural order” of things in the Premier League. Despite Man United paying £41.39m IN AGENT’S FEES TO MINA RAIOLA for the Pogba deal – more than we did TO SIGN RICHARLISON, our spending seems more wasteful because we’re not one of the big six. We have the money, just like they do. But we get called out for it, because things are much more comfortable when everyone knows their place. And as everyone knows, we’re skint plucky Everton.
  2. Most pundits do absolutely no research on Everton. Why do they do no research? Not because they HATE Everton, but because we’re outside the top six. Articles about Liverpool, Man Utd, Chelsea etc get more views, comments, and engagement. So it’s natural they’ll know more about these teams. The same goes for podcasts and television – the big teams dominate because there are more fans. I’m sure Andy Hinchliffe could name all of the top six’s full backs in their correct positions.  None of these jabbering TV jaws have seen Richarlison in pre-season. None have realised that he went straight from Fluminense to Watford – and his oft cited late season collapse could well have been due to him being completely knackered. And if it wasn’t fatigue, and instead him ‘downing tools’ after his beloved manager left? Guess what? He has that very same manager again…

It’s fun to rattle cages, to try and vault the velvet V.I.P. rope, and this summer’s signings excite me a lot. What doesn’t excite me is the level of ignorance about Everton. A stagnant 7-8th place may not sit well with us blues, but to football pundits it’s very comfy. And they’d much prefer us to stay there…

Our purchase of Richarlison has been slated as wasteful despite Man Utd sending more money to Mino Raiola in agent’s fees for the Pogba deal… 

The £35.28m we spent on Richarlison nestles in at #48 in the most expensive Premier League signings of all time.

Our Brazilian is behind such luminaries as:

  • Davinson Sanchez, Tiemoué Bakayoko, Andy Carroll, and Shkodran Mustafi (all £36m)… 
  • Juan Sebastián Verón (£38m)
  • Nicolás Otamendi and Granit Xhaka (both £40m)
  • Christian Benteke (£41.85m)
  • Fernando Torres (£52.65m)
  • Ángel Di Marìa (£67.50m)

The difference? All of those players went to “the big 6″….

Kepa Arrizabalaga signed for Chelsea for £71m, isn’t that more outrageous?! Surely it’s just a matter of time. Surely journalists are frantically hammering away at their keyboards, violently hitting “send” on piece after snarky piece on how Chelsea have ruined everything by spending £71m on a keeper… The Sky Sports pundits are limbering up as I write this, stretching their jaws for a massive yammering session about what a wasteful, idiotic, transfer-window-spoiling mess this signing is. Just wait until they find out that he’s only 6’1″ – like Jordan “Too Small” Pickford – just wait! They’ll be screaming from the rooftops that he’s too small the moment Chelsea concede!!! Surely? You dived with the wrong hand Kepa! You’re too small to be a quality keeper! Your signing has warped the whole transfer market! 

Don’t hold your breath. 

UTFTST

 

Written by Ed Bottomley

Everton fan exiled in Michigan. Duncan Ferguson obsessive, history buff, optimist. Follow me on Twitter @DixiesSixty

2 Comments

Idiotic. Everton are small and CANNOT afford this!

by Kyle Jenson on Aug 10, 2018 at 7:21 pm


It is quite a large fee for a guy still unproven in the Premier League but there definitely is a lot of anti-Everton sentiment in the media these days.

I was more shocked that Liverpool paid £67m for a GOALKEEPER! Even worse than that is Juventus signing a 33 year old Ronaldo for £99m!! Will we stop there?, Fulham have signed 12 players, Wolves and West Ham have signed 10 each for a hell of a lot of coin. Where is the outrage? It seems to me that the transfer window was ruined well before the Ricarlison deal went through.

by Long time Everton fan on Aug 10, 2018 at 7:55 pm


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