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Sometimes you need to be quiet, Ronald
by Ed Bottomley

It’s funny how the football pendulum swings. We went from Moyes (“too honest”), to Martinez (“not honest enough”), and now to Koeman (“too honest”).

All overseen by Chairman Bill Kenwright, oft criticised for his jackanory style of leadership.

And now majority shareholder Farhad Moshiri. He delivers his honesty via a direct line to Sky & Talk Sports’ Jim White, scurrying down a footballing Mount Sinai with Moshiri’s missives written on the iPhone notes app.

The question is, do we like it direct or not?

My answer: Sort of.

Our latest manager “tells it like it is”*. The consensus is that this is refreshing when he uses his truthiness to assess our under-performing players, uncomfortable when he talks about Lukaku’s future, and downright outrageous when he talks up Liverpool’s chances of winning the title. Note to Ronald, the truth is only acceptable when it doesn’t hurt.

Equally, we like our bullsh*t believable. Martinez overstepped the mark with his gushing about Ross Barkley (“I’d rather have him than Messi”), and liberally sprinkled the word “phenomenal” over mediocre performances like bullsh*t confetti. 

Since leaving Everton things have clearly gone south for our Catalan post-truther. He now sounds like a cross between Sarah Palin going rogue without an auto-cue and a faulty WestWorld Host: 

We want the truth? We can’t handle the truth!

We need our truth only when it doesn’t hurt, and like our lies to be at least slightly believable. As the Echo’s Dave Prentice points out, Ronald Koeman should take more care with his truth bombs. Poor Davey Moyes is still getting attacked for his “knife to a gunfight” truth burp. Clearly the Dutchman needs to use more common sense, but more than anything he needs to win. 

The bald truth? You can say what you want as long as you bring us three points on the weekends…

*Yes, he actually tells it like it is, unlike President elect Trump, who claims to, but in reality treats the truth like an annoying ex wife…


Written by Ed Bottomley

Everton fan exiled in Michigan. Duncan Ferguson obsessive, history buff, optimist. Follow me on Twitter @DixiesSixty


What we have learned is that Moyes knife to a gunfight transmitted to his tactics and naturally to the players.
We have been taking a knife to a gunfight for years as have so many other clubs, many of whom have had better results than us with even less resources.
If we are going to persist with talking about our ex managers let’s not let Moyes off the hook.
As for Martinez, I’ll keep it brief,he was a nut job.

by Andy on Nov 22, 2016 at 5:45 am

All “press conferences” are exercises in Yankified bullshit. Their only function is to keep “journalists” and “pundits” employed. One way or another it’s all phony hype.

I’d be happy to see them binned completely. Most fans are perfectly capable of making their own minds up on what they see on the pitch.

So far Koeman’s showed himself to be a fucking idiot when it comes to public relations. If you’ve got nothing sensible to say just say fuck all or send someone else out to speak who knows what to say and do.

I’ve got no time at all for the supposed Dutch “reality.” It does nothing for the game or the club. It’s ignorant bullshit by another name.

by Phil Williams on Nov 22, 2016 at 1:16 pm

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