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Blah Blah Blah Royston
by Ed Bottomley

Similar to what Drenthe hears during a Moyes team talk...

Royston Drenthe is a terrible footballer and so am I.

Our Dutch wide boy has lashings of skill, bags of speed, and can shoot from the most ridiculous angles, unfortunately he doesn’t do what he’s told.  I have no skill, minimal speed, and haven’t hit a shot on target this decade, I do however listen to instructions. Both of us are missing crucial ingredients needed to be a successful footballer.

For Royston, it’s worse than just sitting at the back of the dressing room thumbing through Playboy and daydreaming of pneumatic women whilst Moyes begins a tactical discussion. It is pathological. In games this season, players have had to physically force Drenthe to move into position as Moyes screams at him from the bench. He isn’t deaf, he does have a brain, he’s just Royston – a brilliantly skillful but erratic player who is utterly unable to hear his manager’s instructions.

Like the dog Ginger in the Far Side comic above, all Drenthe hears is “blah, blah, blah, Royston”…

When news trickled through yesterday via various outlets including The Guardian that Royston Drenthe has been told to stay away from Everton by David Moyes, none of us can have been too surprised. Rumour and hearsay have followed Drenthe around Merseyside like ravenous paparazzi, but finally some of the facts are leaking out…

When he was given “compassionate leave” by Moyes people started to worry. It has since emerged that Drenthe was late for training in the week before the semi-final, a chronic problem for the Dutchman, and Moyes has now told him to stay away.

I have been a fan of Drenthe during his time here. I fought his corner and said that he was worth it – my thinking was that his on-field flaws were outweighed by his attacking brilliance. I still think that’s the case. But throw in the fact that he is just as mad off the pitch as he is on it, and that changes matters. Moyes was right to let this hair-tearingly frustrating man go. He doesn’t track back. He Kung fu kicks rather than tackles. He doesn’t listen to direct orders from the bench. On the pitch he’s petulant, and off the pitch he’s even worse.

Much is made of Royston’s childhood. He was a skater and a footballer, and he enjoyed tricks in both sports. When he came to a fork in the road, he chose football and gave up skateboarding. But our Royston still has a skaters mentality. He treats managerial instructions like a skater treats obstacles, something to be avoided, something to jump over.

Royston weakened us by trying the patience of David Moyes last week. He let us down. He wasn’t there for the vital Sunderland FA Cup clash, and luckily Gueye played brilliantly. In the semi final, we could have done with Royston coming on in the second half, laying down tongue twisters with his feet and tying up the Reds in knots. Instead he wasn’t there. That was an unforgivable betrayal.

Drenthe has no discipline. To me that makes him no player at all…

Written by Ed Bottomley

Everton fan exiled in Michigan. Duncan Ferguson obsessive, history buff, optimist. Follow me on Twitter @Dixies60


A very good article Ed. I couldn’t have put it any better. A pity really as I would have liked to have seen a lot more of Royston.

by Barney Collins on Apr 16, 2012 at 2:57 pm

He has committed the ultimate sin of any footballer, wasted his talent. He is the sort of footballer that must bug the crap out of the plain jane Tony Hibberts of this world, loyal, solid players who are decent enough (going back to your blog entry about him) and always work their arses off only to be upstaged at the prom by the pneumatically enhanced blonde cocktease stealing all the boys’ glances seemingly offering endless bouts of sordid dirty sex and delivering nothing more than the occasional disinterested handjob to anyone buying a drink.

by Rsrd on Apr 16, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Sorry Ed, but this is another article where I vehemently disagree to the point of disillusionment! Here are some of your comments:

On the pitch he’s petulant, and off the pitch he’s even worse.

That was an unforgivable betrayal.

Ahh yet no word of ‘betrayal’ regarding Moyes negative tactics, or from the appalling performances from the usual suspects on Saturday. I wager a manager with courage would of gambled, like Harry Redknapp did when David James arrived from a wedding the morning before an important game for Pompey and they still won! I’m not excusing Royston Drenthe, though just like Andy Van Der Meyde Moyes knew exactly what he was getting yet seemingly acts hard done by when Royston does what Royston has done in all his professional career!?!

And I would like to know how you know Ed Drenthe is petulant off the field? In any case it’s a recurring theme that skillful players often fall out with Moyes as they refuse to stick to Moyes rigid structure, need I remind you Moyes dropped Rooney for that exact reason!

Betrayal, right word but wrong culprit!

by CaptainFerguson10 on Apr 16, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    @CaptainFerguson10 – You ask me how I know that Royston is petulant off the field, his past mishaps at Real Madrid and Hercules are well documented.
    You then say that Moyes betrayed us. How do you know what he said at half time at Wembley? Might it be the players who are culpable? Also you say Moyes is acting “hard done by” – where has he acted hard done by?

    by Ed Bottomley on Apr 16, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    You’re always welcome on this site @CaptainFerguson10. It’s more fun when people vehemently disagree.

    by Ed Bottomley on Apr 16, 2012 at 4:55 pm

The only thing bothering me is that if this was the only problem i.e. Turning up late for training, then why did he not make him stay behind after training and make up for it. Surely he would have got fed up with watching everyone leave and he continued training. Maybe this and other penalties. Not saying him being at Wembley would have won us the game, but after the 2nd half performance, I’m sure it would have helped.

by Barney Collins on Apr 16, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    …and Seamus Coleman probably wouldn’t have been on the pitch to give away that free kick…

    by Ed Bottomley on Apr 16, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Firstly I welcome your hospitality Ed, it’s very much appreciated and I respect the fact that we can have an adult discussion rather than it’s the mod’s way or no way (look away Bluekipper)!

Secondly Drenthe problems at Real Madrid were indeed well documented, however at Hercules he actually was ‘set up’ by the squad to speak up against the board regarding non payment of wages, the result ended in the same squad double crossing Royston and then the fans turned on him. I remember reading this when he first came to Goodison, the only thing related to that I could find now was this:

Anyway it still doesn’t excuse bad behaviour, though again I argue Moyes obviously knew of his history hence why expect anything radically different now? Like the caption said, blah blah blah! An interesting public discussion should be is Moyes too stubborn, too predictable and ultimately too over-rated?

On Saturday Moyes is more definitely more culpable than the players, as he encouraged them to defend the lead rather than add to it in the second half. I wasn’t in the dressing room obviously however his post match comment of ‘hoping to see it out’ smacks of the same negative rubbish Moyes has served for the last eight and a half years. I say eight and a half years as for the first 18 months the football was quite attacking, even Nick Chadwick was scoring goals then! Alas as proved on Saturday with 40 yards between Jelavic and the five man midfield, then only bringing on Ancibebe after the scum of this Earth scored shows exactly why Moyes betrayed the fans with our hopes and expectations! With Moyes discipline ethos, I can’t image a player not doing exactly what he wanted so Moyes HAS to be more culpable you agree Ed?

by CaptainFerguson10 on Apr 16, 2012 at 8:11 pm

    Moyes definitely knew about Drenthe’s behaviour before we bagged him on loan. But this is what Moyes does…He trawls the loan market for the undesirables – people who have played below par Pienaar, Ferrari, – loons like Drenthe & Ever Banega – and people who no one else rates (Faddy, Gardner,) – with this motley crew he occasionally finds a keeper. He had to let Royston go because his constant pissing around with turning up to training late – I have to assume this isn’t the first time he’s turned up late for training (and God knows what the “compassionate leave” was about) – to give him special treatment would undermine everyone else.

    As for Saturday. It was a damp squib of a second half… Moyes deserves criticism to a certain extent. But..Gueye, Osman, and Baines were all well below par. You’re not suggesting we get rid of Moyes are you?

    by Ed Bottomley on Apr 16, 2012 at 8:34 pm

I agree occasionally Moyes unearths a diamond, however there have been a fair share of fools gold also. Ferrari was a good player I thought, don’t know why he didn’t sign. And Everton never signed Ever Banega, your probably thinking of Manuel Fernandes.

I agree Drenthe shouldn’t receive special treatment, no player should theoretically. In reality if that was Messi or Ronaldo C doing what Drenthe did, Moyes (and Kenwright) would have bent over backwards to protect their ‘asset’ and they definitely would have played Saturday. Look at ‘Citeh’ and Tevez, what he did was far worse yet he is instrumental in their push for the title now. Far better players yes, but when working with the likes of Osman and a spent Cahill maybe throwing Drenthe in for the sake of victory would have been a worthwhile gamble?

And getting rid of Moyes, ( well you probably know I’m not his biggest fan. I’m happy to admit I’m quite fickle as a fan, when it’s going well I can tolerate him and when it goes belly up I want him out! I saw a list of potential replacements if Moyes doesn’t stay next year, and unless a Martinez, Rodgers, or Hiddink wants the job I’ll begrudgingly have Moyes over Hughes, O’Neil and Gary Bleeding Megson anytime! Anyway do you think Moyes is over-rated Ed?

by CaptainFerguson10 on Apr 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    With regards to Banega – I know we never signed him. But he was a loon (like Drenthe), and a wanker (literally) – just used him as an example of Moyes’ gambles in the loan market. We tried to get him, and he turned into quite the player. Fernandes is a strange one, thought we were going to get him permanently, but he slipped out of our hands.

    I think what Moyes has done with this club is amazing. If you look at what he’s spent, what we were like before he took over, and where we’ve finished, it’s very hard to argue that he’s been good for us. I’d be interested to see what he does with a Spurs type side, with money to spend. I think he’s good at grafting for results, and spending wisely (usually) – he can definitely motivate the team in some games, but our starts to the season perplex me…

    by Ed Bottomley on Apr 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

– just used him as an example of Moyes’ gambles in the loan market. We tried to get him, and he turned into quite the player. –

Not getting Bangera in meant no gamble, don’t fully understand where you are coming from but Bangera now is an exceptional talent for sure. Same goes for that Obinna winger from Inter who went to West Ham, signed then got blocked by the FA over some red tape issue.

Moyes has worked wonders, but has also heavily under achieved whenever the chance was there to push on. Trying to be objective Moyes reign to me has been bitter sweet, so such potential and promise yet stagnation and misadventure has befallen him. Realistically Kenwright will never sack Moyes, and Moyes is very comfortable in the knowledge that he can go when he wants to, this what concerns me as maybe if his job was under threat he would try to be a bit more adventurous.

Lastly the Spurs fans who I work with are split, some want him and believe a deal already been done, while the other don’t want him near the gaff as they appreciate attacking football which is now Alien to Moyes! If he does go I will appreciate his time and effort, however after ten years maybe it’s time for a change in direction in more ways than one.

Nite all!

by CaptainFerguson10 on Apr 16, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Spot on Ed, the guy is a total liability. Bad for team unity both on and off the pitch.

by HM on Apr 17, 2012 at 8:38 am

Hi Ed. I wrote a brief note in answer to a thread on another website. My opinion being, that despite his errant enigmatic ways, he was worth a shot at signing purely for his mercurial abilites. That opinion has now changed. To let a club of Evertons stature down, so badly and ill timed, is forgiveable. After the compassionate leave was granted, (“for whatever reason”?) he was still prepared to bite the hand that feeds him. He appears to be a recalcitrant, who may or may not disappear into obscurity. Exciting to watch and a player to do the unusual. Unfortunatly for Everton he seems to require the unusual on and off the field. Not for me thanks.

by Paul Kerr on Apr 17, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Still not sure. As stated earlier Tevez walked out for around 3months, and is now back in the fold. Maybe a bit more effort from Moyes to straighten him out might have worked and given a glimpse of what he could do.

by Barney Collins on Apr 17, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Reasonable point Barney. The only thing I can think of is his disloyalty to a club, trying to look after him when he had personal problems. To be given that space by an employer, is understandable but also generous. It can possibly be described as contempt. He let literally thousands of people down. To put it politely, thats not a good sign. Great Footballer! It’s just a shame.

by Paul Kerr on Apr 17, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Paul Kerr, if what the club reported was true (as we know the club do lie to us) then indeed Drenthe deserves all the stick he gets. However Drenthe absence should not deflect from the fact that Saturday performance was woeful with the players available, aided by some spineless management whether from Moyes or Round or both.

Call me cynical, but the timing of the news from the club about Drenthe was to a tee!

by CaptainFerguson10 on Apr 18, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Just heard Drenthe signed a pre-contract with the Dark side rs, if this is true it may explain a lot of recent events. Again if true, Drenthe is %&#^#!

by CaptainFerguson10 on Apr 18, 2012 at 5:43 pm

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